We are 5 days out from a move across Canada, from British Columbia to Ontario. I chat a bit about the move itself and our reasons for moving in this post here, but the whole thing is starting to feel just a bit overwhelming. I mean, we only have 5 more days in beautiful Kitimat, where I look out any window of the apartment and see tree line with a mountain framing it in the background. We have made some pretty amazing friends that we have built routines with around kid/family activities, and lots of good celebrations. The recreation has also definitely provided us with some pretty amazing experiences and opportunities that we will never forget.
A good piece of our hearts are in this little town, and every time I think about actually pulling away I feel almost a little panicky. Of course we will come back to visit, and have our photos and memories, but it will never be the same. The Kitimat that we are a part of now will grow and change as time goes by. So will we, as well as our friends. We will absolutely stay in touch with as many as we can, but the natural flow we have created will be gone forever. As much as this brings me great sadness, I'm aware of the natural flows we will create in our lives together where ever we live, but there is something to be said for the nostalgia that gets created in our day-to-day routines with friends and family through the different seasons of our lives.
The logistics of packing is also always a little stressful for me, even though I've done this packing and moving thing 12-13 times. I should be an old pro, and in some ways I have it all down pat. However, this move will involve four days of driving, one flight, and four days of waiting for Chad and his dad to drive the rest of the way across the country. AKA What do we absolutely need with us and what can we wait for? I'm not only packing for myself, but also for Eli in this shuffle. Packing with a baby is also an interesting experience. Eli does his best to 'help', but definitely spreads the whole packing process out a couple more days. We are also still trying to maintain decent healthy meals and keeping up with extracurriculars in this process. Needless to say I have a head cold brewing, and starting to feel that exhaustion in pregnancy that everyone talks about, but never seemed to be an experience for me in my first pregnancy.
I also haven't even begun to imagine what this transition is going to look like for Eli or how he is going to react to the multitude of different places he will sleep in, and the adjustment of his new home.
So basically this whirlwind week of packing/moving logistics + excitement for setting up our lives in Ontario + sadness of change and leaving this home is making this whole process feel just a bit harder than I remember it being to move to a different place. It could also be the whole pregnancy hormones thing adding to all the feels about moving, but I refuse to give my hormones that much power.
Also, the stagnant feeling of packing and putting all future planning on hold until the move is complete definitely leads to counting down these precious days and also feeling really ready to pull the trigger on the move. I'm also reminding myself to soak up every single minute that we have left here. So I feel sad to leave, but eager to leave, and clinging to every moment left here. Not confusing at all. Its like having an annoying roommate in my head that goes back and forth on their decision making on a minute-to-minute basis.
This is not to say that I'm also not full of excitement to be back in Ontario. We just need to get past this weird limbo where our time here in Kitimat is coming to an end, but our life in Ontario hasn't really started yet and this packing, planning, and time counting version of purgatory is killer.
Basically, change is hard, but exciting. Necessary, but difficult. I'm just glad that we are making this decision together and both fully committed to our lives together. I feel like we are losing some of the magic here, but I remind myself daily that we brought some of that magic with us, and we will take it with us wherever we go.
- Katie
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